


Reputation Rascal

by MarieB



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-06
Updated: 2013-10-07
Packaged: 2017-12-28 14:46:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/993154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarieB/pseuds/MarieB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Castiel: best friends since '98 when they were both in Nursery. The two have been inseparable since they met. They're more like brothers, or are they a bit different than that? The two have the biggest reputations in school for getting all the girls, but maybe Castiel can lie. After finding out his best mate isn't a ladies man after all, Dean is stunned, Cas shows Dean the truth, the truth of them both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [balthazar_in_221B](https://archiveofourown.org/users/balthazar_in_221B/gifts).



> This is dedicated to my close friend, Kaitlyn, and at first it was just a trade - fanfiction for fanfiction. But it turned ugly and got ruthless. It became a battle of the sadness. The New aim is to make the other hurt the most. So
> 
> I'm sorry.

CHAPTER ONE  
Strutting down the hallway of the school, red and green lockers take up most of the space but all of the girls who recognise him (and most of them do, they've been in the most intimate positions with him) flatten themselves up against the lockers they currently stand next to. Dean's person walks on through, ignoring them all except for one. The one he's had his eyes on for months now. Jo Harvelle. She's the one female virgin in Dean's year and she is hotter than the Sun. Hell, people would tell her not to play fire with fire, because she would get burned but she's so hot she would burn the fire. The chick is reserved and single and completely do-able in Dean's point of view.

  
Just roll with the conversation. Dean reminds himself, also telling himself to find things in common - it always works.  
His hand connects with the locker in front of her face; in all honesty, Jo doesn't even like Dean that much. Way too cocky. Keep telling yourself that, Jo thinks to herself as she turns her head to face Dean, acknowledging his presence, not that she couldn't... His palm rests flat against her locker and his arm covers her view of her best friend. Meg is one of the many girls in the school who Dean has banged and also one of the many who still love him.

  
He can say the slightest of things; even if it is just the word 'hello' and with the right tone of voice the girl will melt at his feet  
"Hey, beautiful." Dean mutters in her ear, leaning close and speaking slow. His breath tickles the nape of her neck as it flutters past it. The hair on her arm stands on end. She doesn't even know why she feels like this, come on - Dean is just another cliché boy and all he wants is to get laid and she promised herself that her first time would be with someone important. He's just a waste of space  
"What do you want?" Jo snaps at him, causing him to suck in his breath as though being scolded by his mother. That can't happen though... She's long gone  
"Damn!" Dean starts, "You're just as viscous as I remember you to be, gorgeous." he winks at her, hoping for a reaction but her face remains plain and holds no emotion  
"Dean." She moans out, getting bored of standing here while he waits for something to happen that never will  
"You're meant to scream it and under different conditions, but hey, I can dig it." He winks at her again and leans down close to her scowling face, "See you later." Then he does something extra. He kisses her cheek. As he struts away, girls fan their faces by their lockers and some open their lockers to see their mirrors for them to check how their lipstick looks, only to apply more anyway.

  
As Jo walks to her class, a few of the girls who witnessed what just happened between her and Dean stare at her, no, they glare at her. She just smiles at them. Her friend, Meg, skips after her  
"What was that about?" She giggles, pushing her hair over her shoulder  
"Being honest?" Nod. "I don't know. But I didn't like it. Did you see the way he touched me? Eugh." Jo shudders. They persist to chatter and giggle about, well, things. They arrive at class late.  
"Girls where were you?" Miss Cope's voice scratches at their ears as they make their way to their seats.  
During the lesson, people pass Jo notes, all asking about Dean - it's always about Dean in this school: the notorious bad boy. Constantly, she sighs, cursing silently to his parents for birthing him and making him this way.

_If only she knew._


	2. Two

CHAPTER TWO

  
All through History, learning about World War I, Jo pays attention. Seemingly the only one to do so within the entire school. Meg being Meg, she's perched at the back of the class with a group of boys. They don't like Jo, apparently she's too 'frigid'. Meg, on the other hand, well let's just say she isn't a stranger when it comes to the male anatomy.  
Every time Jo answers a question, the guys at the back all make a snippy comment about her under their breaths, but her best friend would back her up... Right? But no, she cackles along to the jokes until Jo turns around to the sound of her friend. That's when Meg becomes a friend and nudges the guys who were making jokes. Knowing if they don't apologise they won't get any tonight, they mumble an apology and go back to messing around.  
  
This happens every five minutes.

  
Period two and break flies by along with the following two lessons. Lunch arrives quickly and Jo aborts any mission of hanging out with Meg and heads off to the library where she pulls a book out of her bag and begins flipping through pages as she reads.  
  
Dean strolls along outside of the school, his large army boots stomping along through the brown and orange leaves along with the little pools of litter. The wind occasionally picks up and creates small whirlpools of crisp Autumn leaves. His eyes stay low on the ground, ignoring everyone around him. His thoughts lost in space, he involuntarily walks into the library, almost regretting it instantly until he realises Jo is sat opposite him, on the other side of the room. Pulling the collar of his leather jacket, Dean sorts himself out as he confidently slides up next to the blonde beauty.  
"Jo, what are you doing here?" Dean questions her, awaiting her snappy response  
"Meh." She replies, not removing her eyes from her book. Not what Dean was expecting  
"Jo? Are you okay?" Dean's eyebrow arches up slightly  
"Yeah, brilliant... Why?" She says, looking up for only a moment  
"Well, damn, you just haven't insulted me in the 5 minutes I've been sat next to you." This makes her look up, as she studies who is next to her, her face cracks a small smile  
"Didn't know you knew where the library was." She comments, smirking slightly as she looks up at Dean through her lashes  
"I'd find my way to New Zealand for you." Dean flirts, sliding his arm around her waist. She shuffles around under the uncomfortable weight of his arm and it drops slightly lower. Jo darts her eyes towards Dean and sensing her hesitation to do anything or say anything, Dean lifts his arm higher again but let's her get comfy. She doesn't complain about the intimacy but she doesn't like it. The evidence is written across her face.  
"Why are you here?" Jo speaks up eventually, turning in Dean's grasp to face him  
"Anywhere for my princess."  
"I'm not a princess. If I was, I wouldn't be yours." Jo crosses her arms defiantly across her chest as she stares down the egotistical brat next to her.  
"You're a princess to me, sugar, my sugar princess." Jo scoffs loudly, attracting some attention from neighboring readers  
"Right, are you going yet?"  
"Only if you come with me, pr-" Dean starts, Jo cuts him off  
"Don't you dare call me what you are about to." With that, she stands up and walks out of the library.  
Dean picks up the book she left behind. It wasn't even a book, it was a journal. Her journal. Her secrets. All at the edge of his finger tips. He contemplates reading it for a minute, but decides swiftly that the glorious moment shall be held later in the presence of Cas. His main man.

  
\- x - x -

  
Castiel walks slowly from his tutorial group and finds his way to his car. His small car isn't alike all of the others, he chose a small car, a smart car. This car is a deep blue colour, just like his eyes. To be completely honest, he wanted a green car but he couldn't find one the right shade to match his new conquests eyes.  
Dean walks out of school towards Castiel's car, today he decided to hitch a lift and leave his bike at home. Cas waits politely at his car door, watching Dean approach him with a small smirk, in his hands is a grey and tattered notebook with pages fluttering about at the corners from the lack of pressure holding them down. Dean's person approaches the car and he slides into shot-gun as Castiel gets into the drivers side. The car starts up abruptly and Dean turns in his seat to face Cas, his emerald eyes sparkling with glee  
"What now?" Cas asks him smugly  
"Tell you when we're there." Dean hesitates then nods to himself, turning back in his seat.  
Cas faces the road and starts driving, every now and then sneaking glances at Dean. He doesn't notice, but Dean does the exact same back to Cas. The two never once looking at each other at the same time. Dean puts the radio on and begins flicking, not liking any of the modern crap that pops up. Cas sighs and bats Dean's hand away from the radio  
"No."  
"But... Cas... It's all crap music."  
"Remember what you said to me, when you had a car?" Cas looks over at Dean as they roll up to some red lights  
"No..."  
"Driver picks the music and shot-gun shuts his cake hole. So shut your cake hole." He smirks as he finishes his sentence, pushing in a CD of AC/DC and pressing down on the gas. Looking over again, Cas realises Dean is trying to hide his happiness that Cas has an AC/DC CD, in fact it's the one Dean bought him. All the while, he's trying to sulk.


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm a bad person

CHAPTER THREE

  
As the car approaches the driveway of Cas' house, the gravel beneath the vehicle starts getting grittier and the tyres crunch grumpily over it all. The two boys get out of the car and head towards the door, Cas' key slides into the lock and the door flies open before the two boys. Dean trudges into the house before Cas even gets a chance to shout 'hi' to his mum. He doesn't mind though, it's nice to see him so settled around his family  
"Upstairs?" Cas suggests and Dean grunts a reply and takes the steps two steps at a time.  
In the bedroom the two boys flop down onto separate chairs, Dean's person in a blue bean-bag and Cas perched on the edge of his red desk chair. He spins around slightly on the chair to face a grinning Dean  
"So?"  
"This book," Deann presents the tatty paper from his pocket, "is Jo's diary. I suggest we read it. I waited for you so we could do it together!" Dean's face is filled with happiness as he thrusts the book at Cas. Cas stares at him, slightly bewildered at the thought of having an insight on a girl's mind  
"I don't think that's a good idea, Dean. We should just give it back." the moment the words leave his lips, Cas regrets saying them. The look on Deans face drops as he realises his best friend isn't as bad-ass as he thought  
"What the hell, Cas, you're not even you anymore. All this time we do everything together, all the shit. Whether it's bad or damn right hilarious. Everything. How am I supposed to think you're cool if you're acting like such a pussy. Don't be a faggot, man." Dean splutters out , his eyes watching Cas carefully  
"A faggot?" Cas studies the word, his eyes tearing up as the thought of Dean hating him for what he's about to say, "You call me a faggot, now? Fifteen years for friendship and that's what you offer me as a nickname? Fucking brilliant." Cas starts crying, Dean cautiously gets up from his seat and slides next to a tearful Cas  
"Dammit Cas, what's wrong?"  
"You. Me. This. Everything."  
"Me? What did I do?" Dean's brow furrows together  
"You think I'm a faggot. I mean it's not wrong but God damn you could have not said it. You're all I have Dean."  
"What was that about me not being wrong?"  
"For God's sake, do I have to spell it out for you? I'm gay, Dean. And your signals suggest greatly that you are too. Dammit, stop it!" Cas leaps from his seat and sulks in the corner  
"What did I do now?"  
"You were really close and touching my leg with yours and your breath was on my neck and your eyes were studying me and its too much!"  
"So, let me get this straight, which is apparently what you're not, you want me to believe you're gay?" As confirmation for Dean's question, Cas nods "I call bullshit, man. What about all the girls you've done it with?"  
"Never done it..." Cas mumbles under his breath  
"Is that why I've never heard stories from girls about how brilliant you are? It's all rumours?"  
Another nod.  
"Well shit, Cas. How long have you been lying to me?"  
"About 4 years man..." A deep sigh, which originates from Dean's mouth is all that can be heard in the room they're both in.  
The room remains silent from then on. Then some cogs turn in Dean's mind,  
"Wait, man, did you just say you think I'm gay?"  
A small chuckle comes out of Cas' mouth and he snorts slightly, his hand flying instantaneously up to his face  
"What?" Dean demands, standing up and walking towards Cas. As soon as Dean begins approaching Cas, Cas freaks out and runs out of the room. While running out of the room, Cas kicks a pillow which releases a big cloud of fluffy white feathers. Dean stands there, confused and worried, with white fluffy feathers falling delicately over him. He catches the feathers in his hands, gathering a handful for inspection. Feathers. Just plain feathers.

_Since when did Cas have a feather pillow?_


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm a bad bad person

CHAPTER FOUR

  
In school, almost a week later, Dean tugs Cas into the caretakers cupboard. Cas stared at Dean, his eyes squinting as he focuses on Dean's. The tension between the two is way more sexual than it would have been in the previous week, prior to the events in Cas' bedroom. The two boys stare at each other. Something shining in their eyes that they couldn't bring themselves to say  
"Dean, if you're not going to speak, can I go?" Cas stumbles over his words, not really wanting to have to leave this intimate position with Dean. Dean says nothing, but closes the small gap between the two. As his soft pink lips approach Cas' face, he redirects them to Cas' ear  
"I'm going to kiss you now." He rasps, a whisper barely audible.  
A small gasp comes from Cas to be silenced with Dean's mouth. At first, they stand there. Lips on each others, not moving, but they both realise what's going on. They begin to work their mouths; they both enjoy the intimate contact.  
A few minutes into the vigorous kissing and Dean pulls away, his lips red and swollen  
"We shouldn't be doing this, Cas." He closes his eyes tight, trying to force the feelings away  
"But it's so right, Dean, and you can't deny it. You felt that right there - that wasn't one of the kisses you get from a fling." Cas whines  
"How would you know Cas? You don't date girls." Dean retorts, anger bubbling from nothing  
"No, I said I didn't fuck one. Just cause I can't get one on over a girl it doesn't mean I didn't try with one." Cas states plainly, getting bored with the subject  
"Oh."  
"Yeah."

  
\- x - x - x -

  
After school, Dean gets a ride with Cas for the first time this week. In the car, Dean makes Cas pull over down a slip road and they make their way into a woodland area. They get out of the car and Dean grabs two beers from the cooler in the boot, popping the caps and thrusting one at Cas  
"I don't do talking and emotions, but dammit Cas, we gotta talk."  
"A-a-about what?" Cas stutters, clutching his bottle in both hands and holding it very close to his chest. Much to Dean's amusement, Cas' cheeks were going very pink and his bottom lip was sucked deep into his mouth and held in place by a set of white teeth. Dean lets out a breath he hadn't realised was stuck in his throat and takes perch upon the bonnet of the car; Dean's hand waves Cas over, motioning for him to sit next to him  
"Cas. Do it again." Dean commands  
"Do what?" Confusion etches it's way onto his face as he studies Dean, all the while waiting for answer  
"Screw this," Dean stands up, dropping his beer to the side (this was a surprising move, to Cas, he knows well enough Dean isn't one to waste beer), "I'll do it then." He leans forward to Cas, bringing his lips close to his again  
"Oh."  
"Yeah."  
The deja vu moment stops as the pair of lips press together again. They both move their lips, each of them with their eyes closed - both savoring the moment. All good things must come to an end and the two young men pull apart breathless  
"Great talk." Cas says sarcastically and a little raspy  
"I should really rethink talking if that's involved." Dean tries flirting, pulling his signature smirk as he eyes Cas up and down  
"We don't need to be 'talking' for me to kiss you Dean." Cas states matter-of-factly, completely ruining Dean's press at romance  
"Er, Cas."  
"Oh. Flirting!" Cas exclaims happily, his hands coming together  
"No shit." Dean grumbles  
"We should actually talk." Cas suggests, gaining a moan from Dean, "Doesn't that type of noise belong in the bedroom?" A smirk forms on his face as the look on Dean's goes from 'ok-I'm-cool' to 'shut-up-you-dick'  
"Fine. Let's get this over with." Dean sits back down on the bonnet next to Cas. Dean's hand drops heavily down next to him and Cas moves his so his fingers are touching Dean's; Dean's face goes red as he turns to face him, pulling Cas' hand fully into his own and lacing the fingers together  
"What are you?"  
"I think..." Dean hesitates over his words, "I think I'm like you, Cas."  
"So what does that make us?" Cas treads lightly, selecting his words carefully bit making them very effective  
"I wanna try it." Confidently, Dean turns to face Cas and his confidence melts away as the boy sat before him stares happily back at him  
"You're not joking, right, Dean?" Dean shakes his head, "Oh my God. Can things get any better?" Cas sighs happily as he lays backwards on the bonnet  
"Maybe." Dean chokes down a laugh as Cas splutters about how it couldn't and how Dean can't as him being Cas' was enough to let him die happy.  
 _Shit happens, right?_


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well this is happy

CHAPTER FIVE

  
As the week drones on, the two boys who are now in a relationship are finding it harder to hide it from people at school, it's not like they don't want them to know... Just a lot of them don't appreciate homosexuals. Cas told his friend, Anna while Dean told his little brother, Sam. Those were the limited people with the ulterior information and education.  
But they were nearly caught on numerous times...

  
_Cas and Dean met for the third time that day in the caretakers cupboard, the noise of students passing past the door hiding their secrets was prominent over the heavy breathing shared by the two boys, their kissing fast and furious. Cas was unable to stop kissing Dean while Dean was unable to stop touching Cas. The two were making it really hard to keep a secret. Dean moaned out in pleasure as Cas kissed him hard._   
_A knock on the door had them both stopping in their tracks, someone had heard them. A few seconds of antagonising silence later, Anna spoke up, informing the two the coast was clear and that the two lovebirds should make their way to Trigonometry._

  
Another prime example was in the corridors during lesson change...  
  
 _Dean had recently been escorting Cas to all of his lessons. He didn't mind, the sentimental actions were nice after all the loneliness he had of being single while the guy he longed for was kissing other people. In a way, he was kissing girls he didn't know existed, they had kissed Dean and so, indirectly he was kissing them. He didn't mind. He was sure he would be the only one kissing Dean for a long time. As the week neared the end, more people were noticing the two walking to class together, rumours were spreading around the school and someone eventually asked Dean about it where he replied 'fuck off, my shit isn't your shit' and so the person redirected their question to Cas who replied 'he's just looking out for me'. When faced with the question as to why he was looking out for him, Cas mumbled incoherently about gym class and ran off to lunch._

  
It was nearly all over when Dean kissed Cas at school in the corridor...  
  
 _It was the end of lunch and once again, Dean was walking Cas to Maths. Everyone else was inside the classroom already and the two boys moved slowly out of the line of sight of people inside the room. Dean leaned close for a kiss but Cas pushed him away, whispering something about how they shouldn't do it there and he would have to wait for later, 'to hell with later', Dean whisper-yelled and kissed him anyway. Jo and Meg came bumbling around the corner just as Dean began pulling away_  
 _"Oooooh!" The girls squealed at the same time_  
 _"What is this?" Jo coo'd_  
 _"Nothing!" Cas and Dean say at the same time. Dean silences Cas from further speaking with a glare_  
 _"I mean, uh, I was just telling Cas that I'd given your diary back earlier and that you shouldn't be bothering him about it today."_  
 _That shut Jo up, so Cas, Jo and Meg walked into Maths together with the two girls talking via eyes and hand gestures._

  
The week draws to an end with Cas and Dean walking to the motorbike while holding hands. The stares from other people were nerve wracking for Cas, but Dean always said 'if people are watching then it's best to give them a show', so he figured he should. As Dean picks up the two helmets, Cas lurches towards Dean and kisses him. Only to thank him and take the helmet from his hands and strap it around his head. For a moment, Dean stands bewildered but soon regains control of himself. While his fingers fumble at the buckle of his helmet, his jaw clenches together and grinds. The two boys drive away, with gossip about their relationship already spread half way around the school.

  
\- x - x - x -

  
\- "What in the God's hell was that, Cas?" Dean demands as the two slink into Dean's bedroom. Cas preferred Dean's room to his own as it was darker colours: blue and black yet the furniture was all white. The bed was a large double and had grey sheets. On a white desk sat a white computer which was turned on whenever the two got in - but not today  
"You always told me to give people a show if they're watching - to give them something to watch... So I did!" Cas defends himself. Dean advances on him, and Cas surrenders into a corner, expecting Dean to hit him. The only contact Cas feels is Dean's arms and hands around him tightly, then the floor disappears from Cas and he's dangling in mid air. His hands instantly shoot out and wrap around Dean, it makes Dean smile a bit  
"Why are you so scared of me all of a sudden, Cas?" Dean questions, sitting down on the bed with Cas still in his arms and on his lap  
"I guess I'm losing who I am in the blur of us." Cas admits  
"Well, I want to see some of the old Cas. The one I fell in love with."  
As soon as the words left his mouth, a deadly silence fills the room  
"I love you, too." Cas murmurs as he brings his face up to kiss Dean. Dean smiles happily into the kiss.


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I may well edit this in the future. Keep an eye out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.

CHAPTER SIX

  
Moving his lips against Cas', Dean rolls the pair of them over so he is laying on him, propped up by his knees and elbows. Cas moans out happily as his hands roam over Dean's body, Dean also allowing his hands to roam over Cas'. The two get intimate. Touching and fiddling with buttons and buckles; shoes kicking off and landing messily all over the room; the walls closing in...  
Cas pulls away, breathing heavily as Dean rocks against Cas' crotch, dangerously close.  
Cas, Cas' boxers, Dean's boxers, Dean.  
All that was between them both was two thin pieces of cloth and they were not hiding much of what was to show.  
Cas continues to pull away as Dean tries taking the touching and kissing and feeling to the next stage.  
 _I'm not ready for that,_  Cas tells himself  
"Dean," He starts saying to the air in front of him, the air where moments ago Dean's face was. Dean waves him off, forcing Cas to acknowledge how much he wants this, "Dean!" Cas' voice raises as he becomes more agitated to what's going on  
"What, Cas?" He sounds pissed off, it shows on his face briefly but he soon covers it up with a small, hesitant smile  
"I'm not ready for this." Cas whimpers, his body against Dean's hard member. Dean rolls off of Cas for a moment, thinking over what he should do  
"You lead me on Cas, you don't expect to get away with that... Do you?" Anger flitters across Dean's face, remaining on it and being replaced by only determination as he pulls Cas' underwear from him. Removing his own, he pins Cas down with his arms and legs. Cas squirms under Dean, as Dean is much larger than Cas, he's stuck  
"Stop moving!" Dean grunts in his ear, moving his face down to Cas' neck and kisses it harshly. He kisses all the skin around Cas' face and torso, to bring his face back up to the neck and he sucks and bites on one spot, he bites in a way so it doesn't hurt and is pleasurable. Cas moans slightly in happiness. Dean knows his weak spots.  
Then Dean does it. The thing Cas doesn't want. Thrusting up into Cas, Dean shivers slightly as he acknowledges what he's doing. He wants to stop, to do something, he does whatever he wants to do.  
  
Bringing himself to have a second strength, Dean props himself up properly and throws Cas over onto his stomach. Mentally preparing himself for Cas' reaction, Dean presses himself into Cas. Both of their bodies move at the same time but Cas releases a small whimper of pain, but as Dean rocks backwards and forwards the whimpering intensifies and it becomes a small cry. On the next time Dean rolls into Cas, he looks at Cas' face: wet, red and puffy. /All me/ he thinks to himself... /I shouldn't have done this/. But it's too late. Collapsing on top of Cas, Dean buries his head in Cas' neck and begins to cry.  
At first his crying is soft and weak, but as soon as Cas turns over under the weight of Dean hugs him and starts whispering 'it will be ok' his tears rain down on Cas' skin like Hell on Earth. Right in this moment, Dean's phone chirps to life in his jean pockets singing AC/DC - Highway To Hell.  
Coincidence? I think not.

 

\- x - x - x -

 

"I'm sorry." Dean pleads for the umpteenth time that week  
"Dean." Cas warns, "Stop saying you're sorry, I forgive you."  
"Why?" Dean presses, confused at Cas' reactions  
"I love you." He mumbles loud enough for only Dean to hear.  
But Dean isn't the only one to hear it.  
A loud and evil laugh erupts from behind the two boys. Each one turns around with fear in his eyes to come face to face with Crowley: the biggest dickhead in school  
"How is life, loverboys?" He taunts, "Is the bedroom performance not up to scratch, Cas? To be fair, he has only ever had a shit load of inexperienced whores." He cackles to himself. His laughing attracts more unwanted attention and Meg runs up to the boys  
"Crowley, fuck off." She hisses, her Brown eyes seeming darker than usual. Her display of loyalty makes Crowley laugh even harder  
"What are you going to do, little slut, hit me?" He teases again  
"Hmmm, not a bad idea..." She pauses, eyeing up her victim. "I'll do that." She decides, leaping at Crowley when he least expects it. As her small figure straddles his tall and well built figure, it's amusing for everyone in the corridors to watch Crowley get the shit beat out of him  
"We should go..." Cas mumbles into Dean's arm  
"Wait for a bit more chaos. If we go now, we'll be sucked back in as the centre of attention." Dean replies just as quiet.  
The chaos they needed arrives. The back-up troops. Jo appears next to the guys as they discuss leaving  
"He start?" She motions to the bloody guy on the floor with Meg on top, still pounding his face  
"Yeah." Cas and Dean reply in unison. They exchange a look that says do-that-again-and-everyone-will-know-our-secret and smile at each other  
"Best get to work." Jo grins to herself as Crowley's little bitch comes scuttling around the corner, cracking her knuckles. For a moment, Jo is mesmerised by the ruby red nails but Cas notices  
"Go get 'em, don't forget to break the nails. They're like... Her signature." He comments. Jo gulps, nods and starts making her way over to Ruby who is trying to pull Meg from Crowley.  
Dean and Cas stumble away from the crowd before a teacher comes.

 

\- x - x - x -

 

"This isn't good." Cas repeats again as he paces the room which Dean calls the 'Saferoom'. It's not all that safe if you think about it: it's a wine cellar beneath Bobby's (Sam and Dean's current father figure) house but it has a lead lined wall which is a 30cm thick wall of which has 15cm of lead inside, so that can be considered safe. It has 8 locks: 3 bolts, 4 keys and then a keypad just in case. It's a modified bomb shelter. The stories that Bobby used to tell the kids to go to sleep were generally about how life was like; living in such a cramped space, because everyone knew how it was lead lined they felt safer. They all paid in rations and spare money. Some even did pleasurable activities with Bobby's father (apparently).  
Cas persists to pace  
"You're making a draft." Dean comments lazily  
"You're making me sad." Cas retorts, the comment makes Dean stand to attention  
"What do you mean, I am make you sad?" His eyes narrow  
"You're not doing anything about this and it's going to end badly and you're not even showing a damn."  
"I'm thinking ok. I do give a damn, Cas!" He replies, sadness lurking on his face. Thank God the lights were broken.  
The thing is, Dean knows it won't end well. But he is trying to stay positive; it is all for Cas. The mess. The pain. The bad ending. If Cas hadn't have strutted from the closet in all of his fabulous-ness, none of this would have happened. Dean would still think he's straight. Crowley would be avoiding the two boys and everyone would be happy. Right?


	7. Chapter Seven - Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was a bit too long to continue writing so its split into two xx

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

  
"I didn't even know that Meg and Jo knew." Cas sighs at lunch as Anna, Sam and Dean watch the cafeteria buzz with life  
"I may have let something slip to Jo in Photography and Meg may have overheard." Anna looks up at Dean and Cas apologeticly and smiles warmly with her large brown eyes. Sam notes how when she smiles she has this small dimple that appears at the side of her right eye and her eyebrows furrow together to create a small 'M'. /Cute/.  
" Ah, it's alright." Cas says, assuring Anna  
"Thanks!" She replies replies brightly, smiling a wide grin but it doesn't last long. Walking over to their table was Crowley, Ruby and Abaddon. The 'top-dog' and his bitches.  
Almost instantly as soon as Cas lays his eyes on the three of them, he stands up to send them all a glare. The attempt at being strong makes Crowley and his cronies laugh in pity  
"Really? What's the gay boy going to do," Abaddon laughs more, her wicked voice suppressing a cackle, "Attack me with rainbows and butterflies?"  
"Or..." Dean steps forward, glancing between them all, his green eyes glittering with amusement. Cas looks stunned as Dean makes his way towards the three bullies. He catches Dean's eye and he winks; Cas blushes as he turns around and sits down, knowing Dean will sort this.

**_SMACK_ **

The sound of Dean's fist connecting with Crowley's face catches everyone's attention in the food hall and slowly, people abandon their lunches as they realise what's going on. The crowd forming around Crowley and Dean increases in size rapidly as more punches are fired.  
After Dean's seventh shot at Crowley's face, it's clear to anyone who can see that his nose is broken and his jaw is disconnected  
"You, little gay, dick." Crowley leers at Dean as they go around in a small circle  
"Hmmm, Crowley, just 'cause you're bigger than me as a person, doesn't mean you're bigger where it counts." Dean smiles, knowing fully well that it would take Crowley a few moments to catch on. Just as he realises what Dean's said, his fists clench together only to be pulled back by a person behind him. In confusion, Crowley turns around to be greeted with the face of Castiel. Castiel snarls as he brings his hand up to grip tightly around Crowley's neck  
"Don't you dare talk like that to Dean, ever again, Crowley: or else!"  
"Or else what? You'll tickle me and we'll run happily, holding hands through a meadow of daisies?" He rasps back, drawing a deep breath. He's welcomed to a short, sharp reply of Castiel's fist. Castiel steps back, his hand shaking off the pain as he admires the blood pouring from Crowley's cut cheek  
"I did that." Cas says, as he looks over to Dean who grins happily back  
"I know. Now let's bail." Dean suggests, throwing Crowley to the floor. The guys and girls backing Cas and Dean strut out of the food hall. The group of 5 go to the boys toilets to allow Cas and Dean to clean themselves up. Inside the boys bathroom, Dean hunches over the sink in the corner on the far wall. He spits once, filling the plug hole with a gooey red liquid - blood. Cas stands at a different sink and holds his hands under the running tap; he winces at the pain. After cupping his hands to collect the falling water, Dean throws it messily over his face. He ignores the stinging sensation that spreads over his cuts and then persists to the toilet cubicle behind him to collect some tissue to dry himself. Flushing the toilet paper away, he walks backwards out of the cubicle and his body collides into Cas'  
"Oh," Dean starts, "I'm sorry, Angel." He apologises  
"It's fine, Hunter." Cas replies, thinking back to how they got the two nicknames. Cas got his for being Dean's saviour - his angel. Dean got his simply because he used to assist his dad when he went hunting, he also helped Bobby a number of times.  
Cas slides towards Dean again and this time Dean accepts him into his arms  
"It'll be okay." They reassure each other, being interrupted by a sharp knock on the door from Sam, signalling they have to leave. Collecting their stuff, Dean kisses Cas on the temple and proceeds out of the toilets to finish the day of Hell.

  
\- x - x - x -

  
All through the week, Crowley pops up when Cas is alone, tormenting him, hurting him - internally killing him. Of course he does it when Dean isn't there. It's when Cas is vulnerable; it's when Cas is weak. That's how Crowley works: target his prey, study his prey, learn his preys weaknesses... Then he'll pounce. He pounces more than once.  
Approaching him for the umpteenth time this week, Crowley stands in front of Cas with his arms crossed and a sly grin plastered on his face  
"What do you want, Crowley?" Cas asks, attempting to sound confident and bored when in actual fact he was quaking in his boots (in particular, the boots Dean had bought him for his birthday)  
"Just wanted to say hi to my favourite queer." He rasps, his natural voice is deep, throaty and raspy as if all the time he's being strangled. Cas grits his teeth. It's how people stop themselves from crying in front of people, isn't it? Grit your teeth, look up to the sky (or ceiling) as if it holds the answers for you to not internally collapse and fail, harden your expression and lower your face to stare the person square in the eyes. Nowadays it's wrong to show emotion. It's seen as *weak*. Moving on through the corridor, Cas manoeuvres around Crowley and is in shock as he's pulled to a halt and spun around  
"I said hello, Castiel. You're meant to say it back." Crowley growls  
"It." Cas replies, shaking Crowley off of his arm and walking away  
"Castiel, I will get you and the last thing you'll ever feel is regret." Crowley shouts, the ending falling into the empty corridor. He sighs and walks to the changing rooms to change for P.E.

  
\- x - x - x -

  
"He keeps following me." Cas complains to Dean as they sit in Costa eating a late lunch. It's a Friday after school and the two skipped lunch to help out paint the new building so they could avoid the stares and comments from everyone else - Dean knows how much the attention makes Cas squirm  
"Deck him then, Cas." Dean sighs. The main topic of every conversation lately is Crowley and it's really ticking Dean off  
"You know I'm not strong enough to do that." He reasons  
"In the canteen you broke his god damn face - you're strong enough." Dean raises his voice, then lowers it noticing the people around their table have begun to watch the two, " All I'm saying, Cas, is find away to keep him away from you."  
"okay." he agrees, conjuring a plan as he finishes his meal. Dean watches him eat, studying the expression upon his face. At the moment it's concentration but it fumbles between regret, concentration and determination; it's trying to find a balance between all three and stay there.

  
\- x - x - x -

  
Monday, back at school, Crowley passes Castiel and Dean in the hallway on the way to lunch and Castiel excuses himself from Dean and the gang to go and talk to - get rid of - Crowley. He approaches him and his friends snarl and his presence  
"Speak, queer." Crowley sneers at him  
"We need to talk, Crowley." Cas holds his ground and after what seems like years of waiting and being stared at, Crowley agrees and his cronies back away until they're out of ear shot  
"Let's talk in here, then." offers Crowley, pointing to a derelict class room. Nodding, Cas walks in with Crowley hot on his heels. The door clicks heavily behind them. Cas turns around to face Crowley  
"So, Crowley. I'm a queer to you?" Cas asks, knowing the reply already  
"You're gay, so yes, you're a queer." He states, looking at Cas as if he was going insane - _good_ , Crowley thinks to himself, _let the queer go insane_  
"So what does that make you?" He steps forwards towards Crowley, attempting to be menacing  
"Straight." He answers with confidence  
"Are you sure about that?" Cas takes another step towards Crowley. Before he has the chance to answer, Cas has his lips against Crowley's. It's a horrible feeling as Crowley hasn't shaved and even though sometimes Dean doesn't shave, it doesn't hurt him and often feels nice - but Crowley's beard is scratchy and rough. Cas doesn't move, his lips on Crowley's and it's to both of their surprise, he kisses back. He deepens it. He doesn't stop or kick of punch or scratch. He kisses; he kisses hard.  
Pulling away from this kiss, minutes later, both Castiel and Crowley are at a lack of breath. They eye each other up for a moment and when Cas is ready, he speaks  
"You're gay. Stop trying to hurt me." he stalks out of the room without a second glance.  
Crowley slowly slides into a seat, fixated on the clock. In a matter of seconds, Castiel had ripped away one thing he was sure of: his sexuality - him being straight. He was going ti tell everyone. Crowley was going to be like those two queers and after all this time of embarrassing and hurting them... He is one.

  
\- x - x - x -

  
Sitting with Dean at lunch, holding hands, Cas can't help but think about the kiss with Crowley - it's technically cheating, isn't it? Thinking over recent events, Cas feels stupid. He should have seen this coming, Crowley kissing him back, Crowley actually being gay. Come on, it's not very often that if a bully teases you, picks on you, then they don't like you. So it means he does? _Crowley likes me... Crap!_ Castiel sits in a daze, Crowley liking him could be more of an issue than it was when he was bullying him.


	8. Chapter 7 Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh god.

During the week of the kiss, Crowley becomes clingy which makes Dean suspicious of Cas' actions and feelings. Pulling Cas off to the side on a Thursday, he looks around, scared to lose Cas after all they've been through  
"What happened between you and Crowley?" He manages to whisper  
"Nothing, Dean. Stop being so paranoid. God sake." Cas replies with more confidence than expected, realising how it sounded after he said it he pulls Dean into a long embrace, "I'm sorry, Dean. I didn't mean to say it like that..."  
"No it's fine - I'm just being paranoid aren't I?" Dean forces himself to take a step away from Cas. Every instinct inside of him is telling him to worry, to find the truth even if, on the inside, he may already know it. His being aches with knowing he may have already lost the person he loves. "It's paranoia, I'm experiencing because suddenly my boyfriend, one day, goes off to teach this dickwad a lesson, and when he gets back, he doesn't eat and he's breaking out in a sweat. Then all through this God damn week, he's been hovering around you like a puppy " He pauses for a break, looking Cas straight in the eye he asks him again, " What happened between you and Crowley?" Cas gulps, knowing he has to tell him  
"We kissed. But I didn't mean for him to kiss me back I was just proving, if he didn't push me away, that it's not just us two who are gay." He tries explaining, but Dean slams his fist into the locker when he hears about the kiss and begins stalking away. Cas slumps down onto the floor, leaning against the locker. Soft, individual salt tears fall from his cheeks and after a few moments, they're falling rapidly and melding into one long constant stream. *I've ruined everything!* Cas thinks to himself, realising how much of a bad idea this was.   
\- x - x - x -  
Dean and Cas break up. Inside of himself, Dean knows what Cas did was so Crowley would piss off, but he can't bring himself to understand and accept. His heart shatters more every time he sees Cas or Crowley and he has to fight hard against the tears - tears that haven't graced his face since the passing of his mother and father.  
Cas pushes through the crowd in the hallway as he makes his way to Science, he notes the fact they all stare at him. As he turns the corner, Crowley crops up and walks next to Cas; the two boys walk in silence, in sync, until Crowley speaks  
"So, Castiel," his raspy voice starts, but Cas cuts him off  
"No, Crowley, stop. I ruined my life in 5 minutes. You are to blame. Nothing you can say will make me forgive you."  
"Oh, I was going to say a big speech I prepared for you, much like your own," he sneers then regains his composure, "But maybe I can do something to change your mind instead." he reasons quietly as he pushes Cas up against the wall and kisses him. Cas is astonished once against by the sheer force applied by Crowley. They're kissing intensely when an abrupt cough comes from a few feet away. In a rush, the two break apart   
"Am I interrupting something?" Dean stands there, hands hanging limp by his sides and a jealous scowl is settled on his face. Cas shudders and cowers under the intensity of Dean's stare  
"No- I uh- uhm..." No words formulate sentences worthy of being spoken and so Cas shuts his mouth to stare at the floor  
"Actually," Crowley pipes, "You were interrupting something very important."   
"Really? Shame I don't care." Dean snaps, grabbing Cas by the wrist and pulling him closer, "We need to talk." he hisses  
"What?" Cas frowns as he walks away with Dean, giving a short flick of his hand to Crowley who skulks off unhappily and unimpressed   
"You lied to me, Cas."   
"What?"  
"What happened to the I love you's and we'll be together through it all? We're going through pretty tough shit and where are you? Off snogging and making out with the person who made this mess." Dean finishes and chokes on his voice, tears threatening to rain on his face. Cas stands there silently, thinking over words in his head. None seem worthy enough to be spoke aloud. Dean lets go of Cas' wrist and sighs while shaking his head. "I'm done."  
\- x - x - x -  
Those two words, I'm done, resonating through Castiel's mind as for the umpteenth time that day his thoughts wander to Dean - his Dean. *Not my Dean, anymore*. He scolds himself and mentally slaps himself as he gets back to doing his work, forcing out a sigh and leaning over the work set in front of him so he can write.   
The pen in his hand releases a gloop of black ink as it bundles on the line he's writing on. He throws the pen down as he sighs again, out of frustration  
"I need you." he whispers, making his way to his bed and laying down, his eyes flutter shut as the first few tears begin to fall.   
\- x - x - x -  
Sat in History next to Anna, Dean sighs as another note is thrown at him. The message inside is similar to the others; drop dead you freak - notes like this have been thrown at him all week. *If only* he replies inwardly, glancing at Anna as she sends him a set of pitying looks. He shakes his head. He doesn't need pity. Standing up, he grabs his bag and hooks the strap over his right shoulder then stalks out of the lesson; the teacher calls after him, threatens hime with detentions - the works. It doesn't hold any effect. His feet attack the ground as he makes his way to his bike, wishing he was in Cas' little green car. As he straps his helmet on, his legs swing over the bike frame and he hunches over the handles as he pulls away, gaining an excessive amount of speed.   
Arriving at Bobby's, he walks the bike up to the garage then slams the doors behind him all the way to his bedroom. His mind is in a frenzy as he punches his door, his windows, his wall - anything.   
After a while of punching things, he lets the first tear fall. Then the next. And soon his face is coated in a slight cover of salt water that his fingers just can't brush away. He gets a pair of jogging bottoms and a band t-shirt out of his wardrobe and chucks them on where he then curls up on his bed and continues crying.   
\- x - x - x -  
"Dean?" Sam's voice pierces the silence of the bedroom as his tall body steps through the doorway  
"Go away." Dean replies, mumbling into heaps of pillows and duvets  
"I can't be here for you if you won't let me."  
"I don't need you."  
"What about Cas?" Sam pokes, regretting it instantly as Dean jolts upright to glare at his brother  
"Don't you dare mention him here."  
"You need to talk about it." Sam reasons, attempting the door handle again  
"What, I need to talk about how the love of my life walked away after a kiss with the boy who ruined our lives for months? I'm meant to talk about how my insides feel worthless? I'm meant to share how disgusted I feel with myself to have fucked up this bad?" He snarls through the door, tears soaking his face and threatening to enter his mouth  
"Oh, Dean." Sam's voice drifts through the door quietly as if he whispered it  
"Just go."  
He does.


	9. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pushing.my.baby.out.

"Castiel, come out of there." "No."

"But, Cas." 

"Gabe, what do you want?" Castiel opens the door slightly, his head tilted to look around it. Gabriel 's palm connects with the panelling on the door, forcing it to fly open. The edge of the door clips the left side of Castiel's face, causing him to groan in pain as he lands on his butt in the middle of the room. Gabriel stalks in, dragging Castiel upright. "What is this about?" Cas asks, "I'm busy." "Doing the fuck what?" 

"Stuff." Cas picks at his nails, looking anywhere but at his brother

"Listen, man, I can see you're hurting yourself. You're not dressed as you normally would, and your room is presented in such a way you can tell you're hiding something under and behind everything."

"You don't know anything." Castiel almost screams back, his voice coming out as a whisper instead

"Cas, I'm not smart, okay, but I know what you're doing right now isn't healthy and I know you just need to get back up onto your feet and move on with you life which has got so much more for you - you need to move on and cheer up!"

"You don't understand, do you?" Cas asks, continuing without waiting for a reply, "Life isn't a right, it's a privilege and you have to prove you deserve it to get the good side of life, and I'll tell you what, I do not deserve what I want. I do not deserve to be here. To breathe. To love. To live. I don't, at all." by the end, Cas' face is drenched with salt water and his brother is standing against the wall, palms flat, as he stares with pity consuming his eyes. Cas points to the door with a shaky clenched fist and a finger extended. Gabriel left.

\- x - x - x -

It took all of his willpower to even write a letter. But he managed. It read:

Dean, I love you, I always have. Remember after 'The Incident'? I promised you: forever. And thus, it happened. You are forever in my heart and I hope I am in yours, but I just can't go on like this.

You, Crowley, everything.

At first, I cut, to stop myself from going crazy, but it got warmer. I needed to breathe with my clothes. I began scratching my arms, my legs. I began carving wood with sharp knives. Believe it or not, I even tried fighting in the streets, but it just reminded me of you. Nothing worked.

Nothing will. I'm just writing to say bye.

To say sorry.

I'll see you around, dear Dean.

~ Castiel Novak

\- x - x - x -

Thursday 28th May was the date over the whole school. Whispers went around, before Dean arrived terribly late. 'Cas is dead? Oh, my God!', 'What will Dean say?' - it all stopped when Dean's bike skidded to a halt next to the flowers by a bench. A note on the bench read:

Rest In Peace, our dearest Castiel. Heaven Needed An Angel, so it took one back.

Dean read it, his eyes not once leaving the paper. Even after he finished reading. Even after he finished comprehending. Even after he got back onto his bike and fastened his helmet back up, remembering instantly the days when Cas would do it for him - remembering the warm and welcoming touch of his hands. The bike sped down the roads, twisting and winding around corners which are just getting in the way. His helmet was already off by the time the bike stopped properly and his hand had connected to the red front door moments after. A sullen Gabe answered. Recognition flitted momentarily across his face as he opened the door wide enough for someone to walk into the house. Dean stalked in, tears welling at his eyes. He heads up to Cas' room, Gabe following close behind. On the desk - which lacked a desk chair - sat an envelope. The name Dean was scratched into it by what seemed to be a biro pen. He picked up the letter and read it. Crying from start to finish; Gabe read the letter immediately after and also began crying. "I'm sorry you didn't manage to sort thing out." Gabe spluttered out "Me too..." Dean mumbled, caressing the paper which was back in his hands. It was the last thing Cas ever did... And it was for him. Everything was for him and he hated how selfish he was being.

"I love you too, Cas. I'll see you soon."


End file.
